


tears blurring my vision, biting off that tongue

by squishychan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M, Omega Lee Seokmin | DK, Omega Verse, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squishychan/pseuds/squishychan
Summary: "s-she's really ours?" jihoon whispers, as to not wake the sleeping babe, running a finger over her chubby cheek, breaking into a shy smile when she squirms at the touch."yeah," seokmin responds breathlessly, heart feeling as though it could burst, "she is,"





	tears blurring my vision, biting off that tongue

**Author's Note:**

> here is the continuation of "i'm on my own, aren't i?"
> 
> i poured my negative emotions into this shitty fic and i cried while writing this and i just want seokhoon to be happy and ugh i'm rambling sorry

Seokmin groans when he hears the muffled wailing coming from the baby monitor, hauling himself into a sitting position, sleepily fumbling into his daughter's room while tired fingers work on unbuttoning his night shirt. Turning on the bedside lamp with a click, rubbing his eyes as he adjusts to the faint amber glow softly illuminating the buttercup colored walls, scooping a very squirmy Jia up into his arms, shifting her tiny body against his chest. Wincing when she latches on, suckling away greedily (with way _too_ much enthusiasm might he add), Seokmin smoothing down her tousled locks as she feeds, her feline-shaped eyes staring up at him wisely, earning a shudder from him as he briefly debates looking away before evenly meeting her gaze, softly crooning the tune of a song long lost with a tight-lipped, misty-eyed smile.

 

Moments like this making all the suffering he'd endured during his pregnancy totally worth it, hell, he'd even be willing to do it all over again if it meant meeting this little blessing.

 

Bringing her up to his shoulder when she's had her fill, her little tummy full, patting her gently to get her to burp. Relived when she doesn't spit up, instead gurgling happily, almost as if she's thanking him for the food. Her eyes drooping as he rocks her, carefully placing her back into her crib after gently pressing a kiss to her crown, doing his best to avoid the spots that creak as he exits her nursery.

 

_She's so much like you Jihoon, it's truly uncanny. And despite all that happened between us, I'll forever thank you for giving her to me._

 

```

 

"Oh my! You've certainly grown since the last time I saw you~!" Jun happily chirps, little Jia staring wide-eyed at the stranger in front of her. Ultimately deciding that she likes him when he offers her a stuffed kitty, burbling when he places it in her tiny hands, the poor toy immediately going straight into her mouth. Horrifying Seokmin, as he quickly snatches it away, making Jia almost comically burst into tears.

 

"Hao, hand me the pacifier in her diaper bag," Seokmin says, bouncing Jia up and down, though it virtually does nothing in the sense of calming her. Rolling his eyes as the younger alpha proceeds to panic, Jun watching with an amused smile, hand resting on his swollen belly.

 

Minghao nearly dropping the dummy as he hastily rushes to hand it to Seokmin. Jia's sobs quieting when it's placed in her mouth, face remaining flushed however, catty eyes still glossy and wet.

 

"Sorry about that," Seokmin apologizes, withering under the nasty stares of the people around them, a few even muttering curses directed at him under their breath. Shit like how an unmated omega _shouldn't_ have a pup, that the poor thing deserved a _real_ family, one complete with both an omega and an alpha.

 

It makes Jun and Minghao sick, taking note of their appearances, making sure to investigate the bastards later. 

 

"It's fine Minnie, we don't mind," Jun reassures, "And we're thrilled that Jia likes our gift so much," So much love in his voice, lips curved.

 

Minghao nodding enthusiastically in agreement, lacing hands with his mate. "It must be quite the challenge to raise her by yourself, yet here you are doing a fantastic job,"

 

Seokmin blushes, "Thanks guys, that really means a lot to me." The trio proceeding to move on to a discussion of whether or not cloth diapers were the way to go, Jun and Minghao not missing the way Seokmin's mind seemed to be elsewhere.

 

_Though I bet it'd be so much easier with you here Jihoon._

 

```

 

"You still love him, don't you?" Hansol more so states rather than asks, Seungkwan making a choked noise from beside him, elbowing his mate. 

 

Seokmin pauses, his chopping of onions coming to a halt, leaning over the counter to glance at Jia, who's asleep in her bassinet. Little nose twitching cutely, thumb popped in her mouth, her small body dwarfed by her too big onesie.

 

_She even makes the same faces you make when you're dreaming._

 

"Yeah, I do." He admits, "He is- _was_ my first love after all," Finding himself growing teary, wiping his hands on the dish towel, wishing his feelings for Jihoon could be washed away just as easily.

 

_It only it were that simple._

 

"Shit, I'm so sorry Minnie-"

 

He holds a hand up, "No, don't be. It's fine, I'm okay now Sol," Seokmin says, scraping the acidic vegetable off the cutting board, pieces glimmering under the boiling chicken broth. A faint sizzling sound coming from the pot, proceeding to move onto peeling the potatoes.

 

_You said we were forever, and I foolishly believed every lie you so lovingly spoke._

 

```

 

"He likes her name you know, said it was fitting," Jeonghan casually remarks, Jisoo immersed in watching Seungcheol fawn over Jia. Seokmin tilting his head in confusion, the warm spring air ruffling his hair, the napkins from their picnic blowing away, drifting off on a gust of wind. The sun shining down on them, Seokmin having taken every precaution, Jia coated in a heavy layer of sunblock.

 

"What? Who likes who?" He asks, Jia choosing to shriek as soon as the words leave his mouth, reaching her little arms out to him, clearly frustrated she can't communicate yet, trying with all her might.

 

_So stubborn, just like you._

 

"Jihoon, he likes Jia's name." Jeonghan states, making a silly face at the tiny girl, who claps her hands, gummy smile on display. Jisoo waving a rattle in front of her, to which she simply scowls, an unimpressed look on her face.

 

_I wonder if she got anything from me. I only see you in her._

 

"Really—Wait, how do you even know this?"

 

"Soonyoung met up with him apparently, he showed him a picture of her," Jisoo replies this time, cooing something in English to Jia, "Jihoon asked about her name, and then about you."

 

"Huh, well okay then," Is all Seokmin says, picking Jia up, setting her in his lap, the mated trio sharing a knowing glance.

 

_Is this a joke? Just another way to break my heart all over again?_

 

```

 

"I'm sorry Minnie! I didn't mean any harm, I swear!" Soonyoung cries, Chan letting his mate fend for himself this time, Jia cradled in his arms. Her eyes observing the adults around her, holding far too much knowledge for a mere baby.

 

"Calm down Soonyoung, I'm not mad." Seokmin reassures, "More so intrigued if anything really," Leaning against the kitchen counter, heating up a bottle for Jia, wanting her to be fed before being put down.

 

"I know right!? I almost lost my shit when he kept asking more and more questions," Soonyoung squeals, his previous fear completely gone, cheeks squishing when he smiles, Chan taking the bottle from Seokmin, feeding Jia like a pro. 

 

"What else did he say?" Part of Seokmin hopeful that Jihoon _hadn't_ moved on, that he still harbored feelings for him, that they could be a couple once more.

 

_Snap out of it Lee Seokmin! You're not some lovesick teen anymore! You have a baby girl now, one that needs you in order to blossom!_

 

"Oh! He wanted to know if he could meet Jia! But only if that was alright with you of course!" Soonyoung chatters excitedly, practically buzzing now, using extravagant hand gestures as he spoke, facial features all animated too. Chan suppressing a hearty laugh when his mate trips over himself, holding it back so as to not jostle Jia. Her way too familiar eyes trained on him, warning him that _yes_ , she _would_ screech if her yummy food was taken away.

 

Seokmin freezes at those words, breath catching in his throat, suddenly jittery. Nerves hypersensitive, alert and aware.

 

_It's funny, I've longed for this since we split. Yet now, in this moment, I'm terribly uncertain._

 

```

 

"So what are you gonna do?" Mingyu asks, mouth full of partially chewed hamburger, Wonwoo shooting him a disgusted look, french fries left untouched, punching the soda tabs on the top of his lid in with his fingertips.

 

Seokmin shrugs, glancing at Jia, who's conked out in her baby carrier, the day at the zoo proving to be quite exhausting for someone of her size. "I honestly have no clue,"

 

"If I were you, which I'm _not_ , I'd stay far away from him," Wonwoo says, knowing full well just how badly Jihoon affected Seokmin, having spent countless nights holding him close, wiping away tear after tear. Blood boiling when Jihoon flat out _refused_ to take responsibility for his actions, claiming that it was all Seokmin's _fault_ that they were in this mess in the first place. That _he_ should've been on birth control, despite him being the one who _didn't_ pull out.

 

"Hate to side with this nerd, but Wonu's right." Mingyu agrees, Wonwoo flicking him square in the forehead.

 

"Ow! That hurt you ass!" He whines, rubbing at the spot where he was so viciously attacked, pouting at his mate.

 

"You deserved it!" Wonwoo counters, Seokmin shushing the two, gesturing to the sleeping baby who would be _very_ cranky if awoken.

 

He mutters an apology, the tips of his ears pink. "Anyways, just listen to your heart Minnie, that's my best advice here." 

 

_And if my heart is wrong? What if I end up in worse shape than before? Then what?_

**Author's Note:**

> give jihoon another chance?  
> ☑yes or ☒no
> 
> should be about 1-4 chapters total?  
> idk man


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